cdlvi. i like physics more than psychics

turns out the universe is an accordion. i take this as vindication of the polka. if it began with the big bang will it end with the big suck?

cdliii. imagine

if you will, three mice. contrary to what you have heard, they are not blind, but are in a spaceship traveling near the speed of light. this makes them unavailable for your supper, yes.

cdxliii. a sharp intake of breath

just breathe.

ccclxix. search engines rock

when people visit your site via “i want to learn how to fuck” string, wouldn’t that scare you? no? not even a wee bit?

ccclxi. it never rains in southern california

uhm, california is, like, so totally, like, oh my god, nice and stuff. totally. see you in, like, december or something.

ccclvii. the tears of a clown

smokey robinson and the miracles took a good look at their faces in the mirror. berry gordy was making them sing a little too high.

ccxcvi. we can do just one more thing

anthems of a thirty-two-year-old boy was written about myself. or at least i believe so in my mind along with every other thirty-two-year-old boy.

cclxx. farting

sometimes we talk about those kinds of things.

cclxiii. when in doubt, use duct-tape

and when in rome, check out the bulletproof pope mobile. now that’s faith in action. driving around in circles.

ccliv. he antedated the last 5 entries

because his fucking laptop sucked and gave him testicle cancer. he threw it away yesterday.